Seriously, i do not know how does this feeling, it is more like an anxiety, i am really anxious. I remember Qur'an Surah Ali 'Imran: 26-27
قُلِ اللّٰهُمَّ مٰلِكَ الۡمُلۡكِ تُؤۡتِى الۡمُلۡكَ مَنۡ تَشَآءُ وَتَنۡزِعُ الۡمُلۡكَ مِمَّنۡ تَشَآءُ وَتُعِزُّ مَنۡ تَشَآءُ وَتُذِلُّ مَنۡ تَشَآءُ ؕ بِيَدِكَ الۡخَيۡرُؕ اِنَّكَ عَلٰى كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ قَدِيۡرٌ ﴿3:26﴾ تُوۡلِجُ الَّيۡلَ فِى النَّهَارِ وَتُوۡلِجُ النَّهَارَ فِى الَّيۡلِ وَتُخۡرِجُ الۡحَـىَّ مِنَ الۡمَيِّتِ وَتُخۡرِجُ الۡمَيِّتَ مِنَ الۡحَـىِّ وَتَرۡزُقُ مَنۡ تَشَآءُ بِغَيۡرِ حِسَابٍ ﴿3:27﴾
(3:26)
Say: 'O Allah, Lord of all dominion! You give dominion to whom You will, and take away dominion from whom You will, and You exalt whom You will, and abase whom You will. In Your Hand is all good. Surely You are All-Power-ful. (3:27) You cause the night to pass into the day and the day to pass into the night. You bring forth the living out of the dead, and You bring the dead out of the living, and You give sustenance to whom You will beyond all reckoning.'24
I remind for a year ago, actually untill now i still do not know why i was selected to be a leader in a team. I thought that there were many senior people, why was I? it was never flashed in my mind. I just felt that i was inappropriate to take that position. But, i could not refuse it because i was a new and i did not want to make a matter. Day after day, i tried to make a spirit in myself, because whatever i had received, it just from Allah SWT. Allah given it, and it was a destiny...
This day i feel like de javu, although it is not me. I should be happy, but the feeling comes again to me. I am so anxious, with all of the reasons. We must take responsibilities more and more from back then. I just believe that all of them are from Allah, whenever Allah could take that position again from us. Now, we just try to do that amanah because we must be responsible to whatever we do.....
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